


fizzle me out

by katsuk1



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Angst, Lowercase, M/M, also idek if this romanticized smoking in anyway, enjoy, hyuck is apart of his group of bullies, i am sorry if that offends you, i dont know how to feel about this, i dont really like it but i also kinda do ????, i hinted that mark drank a bit but honestly when i originally wrote this fic, i think it kinda did, lapslock, mark is bullied, prep school au ???, smoking ???, so i was thinking about cherry coke idek abt u, the desc was you taste like cherry coke and bitter feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 05:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11029206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katsuk1/pseuds/katsuk1
Summary: you taste like nicotine and bitterness.





	fizzle me out

it’s always those  _ fucking prep kids _ . 

 

mark grits his teeth as he recalls the words  _ fag  _ and  _ cunt  _ spat at him just moments before. he can still feel their hands grabbing at his hair and shoving him to his knees, pushing him into the wall. 

 

he slams the bottle he had gripped in his hand and watches it break, the remaining contents spilling out like blood out of an open wound. he feels a ball winding up in his chest, getting ready to pitch out of his body and leave a gap, forcing him to fill it with his tears and gasping breaths. 

 

_ fuck those kids.  _ mark bites his tongue.  _ fuck my life. i wanna go home. _

 

“i wanna go home,” mark breathes out, wavering. he utters a curse word under his breath and lets the palms of his hands dig into the metal swing links, letting his head hang low. he feels his eyes sting and inhales sharply, only to choke out a quiet sob. he digs his hands into his eyes until all the tears soak up but it seems to be a never-ending stream and he doesn’t know how much time has passed since he ran out of the school. 

 

he can’t remember when he brought the cigarette out of his pocket, nor when he even lit it in the first place but he brings it to his lips nonetheless, breathing in deeply until his lungs are filled with nicotine instead of heavy emotions. 

 

“you’re gonna go home just because a few kids told you to kill yourself?” 

 

mark’s breath hitches in his throat and he holds it there for a moment, unsure whether to run or to accept his fate. 

 

“what, you didn’t hit me enough back there or something?” a bitter laughs crawls its way out of mark’s mouth but it dies soon after. 

 

the swing beside him creaks in protest. “i’m not here to hurt you,” the voice replies softly, dragging his feet against the gravel. 

 

“that’s not what you were saying earlier,” 

 

“mark-” 

 

“i don’t understand you, donghyuck,” blurts mark, locking eyes with the other boy. “you hang out with me outside of school at the oddest times and then when we get back, you’re with the prep kids again, ready to lunge at me.”

 

donghyuck runs a shaky hand through his hair and sighs, breaking eye contact. “you don’t understand mark,”

 

“i understand perfectly well that i want nothing to do with you,”

 

“i love you.” 

 

“there’s…” mark’s chest tightens and he finds it hard to breathe, like donghyuck’s ripped out all the oxygen in his lungs with three simple words. “if you think you can just win me back somehow by telling me you fucking  _ love me  _ when you don’t mean it, there’s no fucking way.”

 

“i love you more than anything in the world,” donghyuck continues, brushing away mark’s statements like they were never there in the first place. “i just… i just- i can’t love you and be lee donghyuck at the same time.”

 

“then don’t love me at all.” mark’s voice grows small when he feels a tear run down his face.

 

“you know i can’t do that.” 

 

and he does. he knows more than anyone but mark can’t tell if he’s sad or angry and he doesn’t need someone like  _ donghyuck  _ fucking everything up even more. 

 

“i wish you could,” 

 

a hiccup seizes its way out of his mouth when he feels donghyuck holding his cheek. he doesn’t move, hesitant to do anything further but when mark looks up with teary eyes, he can’t help but devour everything that mark is, locking lips until all he can feel and taste is mark lee and nothing but. a light, feathery thud sounds beside them and a part of them almost want the cigarette flame to spread and lick at their sides until they’re engulfed in it.

 

when they break apart, tears still leak out of mark’s eyes at a steady pace and donghyuck still doesn’t know the answer to all his problems but something inside them knew that somehow, this would work. 

 

it had to. 

**Author's Note:**

> this was 11/10 not inspired by the song+music video for 'first time he kissed a boy' by kadie elder js,,,,,,,,,,,, u should go listen to the song bc it's so good im crying
> 
> link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et8R5fZOARo


End file.
